Hollaaahh, like you just don’t care. Confessions of Virgin Hollerer…

I often wondered what the noise is about when folks talk about loud or vocal bedroom partners, however the other day I released the loudest S C R E A M with the help of a Plank AAPP during the build up to an O & I felt I just had to share how easy it was to do, if one felt so inclined.  I have no fairy tale story in my head that the ability to pump up my volume has a direct correlation to my partner’s prowess. Since O-Hunting was never that much of a challenge, even for the lamest of past bedroom partners, obtaining the much hyped, perfect O, has never been my irresolvable dilema. In fact my BFF’s can attest to my very pragmatic & real life perspective when I talk of the bedroom antics from the perspective of a mother with kids under 7 years old. It certainly doesn’t resembles anything like Sex in the City & quite frankly, I am jiggy with it…

The other day, stars & stuff collided in one all mighty climax, that sent me in a tizz, as to whether the post that I’m about to write is appropriate & yet I kept referring back to an Elephant Journal, blogpost by, Scott Robinson of Mandalaband.net. Ele had me, at the image, but Scott, had me ,at the title & the content, “What’s in you for me“. It got me thinking of my life situations, be they business or personal, & had my mind racing, since I agreed 90% on most of his points on the gross side of Unchastity & 99% on the subtler side.


The whole irony of this post, is that a) I’m not talking about Chasteness & b) has me questioning, “What’s in You, i.e. the story, for me,” if I am to share Confessions of a Virgin Hollerer. I too, have a product, Plank’s gorgeous designer yoga mats, and am bashful at times to talk/sell the mats directly. However, what I do love to share & sell is Plank AAPPs, Awareness+Application = Plank’s Perspective, simple yoga tools that enables me to perform, show up, sometimes surpass previous levels of ability to make the physical activities in my life easier & hopefully the lives of my friends & peers. Who knows if the methodology will result in more mat sales, that wasn’t the intention… it is just a product of my passion to recreate a feasible yoga lifestyle into everyday life

So what Plank AAPP, turned my bedroom vocals, from pleasant purrs to an off-the-richter, HOLLAAAAH, that my other half who I’ve been married to for 9 years, proudly announced that I must have woken up the neighbours. My husband thinks it was his prowess, alas, not quite & as I relay story to my BFF’s, it must be due to some Tantric Yoga Technique, yeah but no… As previously mentioned I’m easy with the O’s, so the advantages of Tantric Yoga for longer sustained ejaculations are not necessary. There is discussion of higher states of orgasm to be reached, with some PC or love muscle releasing & contracting, but I seriously don’t have enough time in the day to want to fill my thoughts with such distractions, I have ADD already, I don’t need to be SADD too.  I would seriously get pissed off, if I was to not be able to concentrate due to some PC muscle peaking. The only PC muscle I want to see peak is the RAM speed of my old school computer.

Quite simply it’s a 2 point Plank AAPP fave:

  • Finally a Tantric Sex Technique that I found useful: Deep,  Slow, Rhythmical breaths used to deepen & endure poses or in this case, to reverse the sexual energy flow.
  • Aaaaand… Top of the Plank AAPP charts, is the fully relaxed neck and shoulders rolled down the back. Many a time I’ve used this AAPP in class to endure a variety of Warriors, and out of class for carrying my 5 year old daughter. Recently, I tried this Plank AAPP during a bedtime jaunt. As I released my neck and shoulder muscles down my back, as the wave started to build & peak, I could feel energy filling my back and flowing down the bod, to let out the loudest HOLLAAAAAH, experienced in all my coital years of Shagging… Oh baby, that puts new light on Plank’s trademarked, Inhale… Exhale… Enjoy…

As with most Plank AAPP’s, they are there to be shared, cos I really do want you to have an easy button for accessing a sustainable wellbeing lifestyle. Next time, if you ladies & gentleman in da house feel like you need a bit of more AAAAAHHHH, try on a Plank AAPP for size with a partner or your fave electronic buddy & please do HOLLAH if it works…


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